As we step into November, Men’s Health Awareness Month shines a spotlight on critical issues such as prostate and testicular cancer. This month-long event focuses on promoting physical and mental well-being among men. Light-hearted events such as growing a manly ‘Movember Moustache’ or participating in a fun run in a speedo have thankfully shone the light on the fact that society needs healthy and happy men to maintain a good balance.
Following hot on the heels of October’s month of Mental Health Awareness, it’s essential to address the often-overlooked but most critical aspect of men’s health—mental health. With South Africa ranked 10th globally for suicide rates and men accounting for a staggering 79% of these cases, the urgency of discussing men’s mental well-being cannot be overstated.
Professional performance coach and public speaker, Alvin Govender, tackles this tough topic with a thoughtful approach to the challenges men face, particularly in high-pressure environments. In this Q&A, Govender offers insight into how men can maintain emotional resilience, break down harmful misconceptions and attempt to strike a balance when under pressure.
1. Why are regular mental health check-ins crucial?
Mental Health check-ins are crucial because a lot of what we feel is subconscious. For exercise, we know we can look at our heart rate to see if what we are doing is physically appropriate, but there’s no similar tool like that for our minds.
The only thing we have is self-awareness, and unfortunately, we all have various levels of that. If we want to normalise prioritising mental health, these check-ins are crucial.
2. What are some misconceptions about men’s mental health, and how can we break down those barriers to create a more supportive environment?
Society has always been obsessed with portraying men as being indestructibly strong. If you look at famous characters like Rocky, these types of men can defy any hardship. On the other hand, only females have been allowed vulnerability. But we only need to look at the mental health statistics to know that that portrayal is off.
We can break down these barriers by encouraging men to have at least one or two close confidantes; these trusted sources can be mentors, friends, or counsellors with whom they can open up to. Talk about real-life events, not just the latest sports results.
3. How can men manage the pressures of maintaining a work-life balance without compromising their mental health?
I’ll speak for myself as a man, who is also a father and a business leader. Total truth: having a 100% balanced life, seven days a week does not exist. It’s just not realistic. And thinking that it does, often leads to us feeling like failures for not achieving it.
I encourage people to identify key areas in their lives that give them a feeling of balance. Identify priorities between work life, family life and hobbies or spiritual practices. Try and integrate some of each into your week. Sometimes, you may only exercise on a weekend or socialise once a week. But overall, prioritising parts of yourself outside of your job or role at home is where the real balance comes in.
4. How can men build emotional resilience and stay in tune with their mental health needs?
Resilience is an interesting one… So many people look to others with admiration for how much they can take on, and a key factor is mastering systems. The ability to create systems that help you get the most out of your life and leave space for you to take on new challenges. Creating efficient systems sounds complex, but it can be as simple as a lift club, so you can take meetings during the school-run, and finish work earlier.
After mastering systems, simplify your life. If something is not pleasing you or giving you joy, let it go. This is hard because sometimes we think binge-watching a Netflix series may be what we need, but that’s not always the case. Simplify by releasing yourself of toxic behaviour.
Lastly, develop a growth mindset. Part of that means accepting that life is a continual series of difficulties. If you are inflexible, every down will feel like an outright failure and become harder than it must be.
5. Share one lifestyle tip you feel can support mental health for men.
If bodybuilding makes your body stronger, then meditation makes your mind stronger. Remove the preconceptions you may have about meditation. Finding it hard to get into the practice of meditation is normal, but learning to calm your nervous system is critical for dealing with high-stress situations well.
The truth is we all need to practice some form of mindfulness daily. What that means is training your mind to be in the moment. The moment your mind goes to the future, you may experience anxiety, or if your mind goes to the past, you could feel stressed.
Allowing yourself to be present in a moment without distraction is mindfulness at its core. Try to evoke your senses in this practice; and that can mean different things: a walk outside, a breathing practice or simply enjoying your coffee on a bench and feeling the sun on your face. Allow yourself to process your thoughts and feelings fully without judgement.